A FOREVER DOOM
There are those dislodged by misfortune that still must carve a path.
One man one case
barraged by weight of all the world’s wrath
Twisted strife, pure wickedness , that speaks to mythical duress the sharpened knife of heaviness many points of pain did coalesce
Betrayal unimagined as his certainty stoked that blazing fire that is hope
Words and actions promises that interloped
He is not naive not quick to commit to frivolity or lark
Rather, now his calloused veneer has taught never again to start A sacred pact of conscious scattered powers that afor did plunge direct , staked regrets , driven deep into his core. With hardened heart, he’s hard to fool so that of course precedes the saddest part.
He did give in but not for him as she laid all before him bare Vulnerability and emotions pushed, her demise now drew his stare
A disintegration morbidly real
Might he mitigate with zeal
He dropped defense and all caution fed to storm
His vigor could save humanity , those alive and those yet born
Then maniacally and viciously like when Eve first Knew that Eden snake
A punished travail seared deep within , Twas Satan’s Laugh that made him shake ,a silent scream and teary nod, his heart and body barely whole, a disaster he invited, has exploded the atoms of his soul
Bobby O
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Author:
Bobby O (
Offline) - Published: October 23rd, 2023 04:22
- Comment from author about the poem: Stay with your first instinct
- Category: Fable
- Views: 20
Offline)
Comments8
You don't miss and hit the wall Bobby
I enjoyed it as a whole but the 1st verse is superb
The satan's laugh line made me shake also
Great word choices
"Calloused veneer "
"Twisted strife "
And so much more
Great read
Very much appreciate you
Great read Bobby. Nice work.
Just about finished Seedy. Every piece is strong. I’m in awe.
Nice dog Bobby! Not an ugly pug.
I admit I find some poem cryptic in places and hard to follow. 🙂
Sometimes I just reply 'Good write' or 'fine write'.
I prefer this approach. I was trying to set up up a “common man” thing where the character steps out to speak to the audience directly
“In other words he’s hard to fool so that of course precedes the saddest part. “ so o thought complicated prose just before might justify and highlight that technique but it backfired as the discombobulated sequence never really got explained by the step out ad lib. I posted anyway cuz my eyes were sorr and my frozen pizza was done. I really wish more people would prod and not worry about impoliteness or hurt feelings. I offer critique on occasion and it mostly isn’t well received. I don’t subscribe to the everybody gets a trophy. I guess the site is dry on it’s culture but here and there I will nick at status quo. Though one guy got so mad he told me to get a rope and find a tree. But please , in the future, be like Linda Rondstat
Ahh, the title of a poem you thought of, when I announced 'I'm gonna sing!' 😁
Epic sir Bob .. I am so glad I was able to sneak in the back door before lights out and Halloween of course .. Like I said .. this is epic .. Neville
Your communique tends to gladden me.
You , sir , rate amongst my daily anticipatory strides. My guess is when a glass in hand and a small table tween we could enjoy light hearted lies cuz we would know and build momentum when shared truths surround new or tried and true eloquence. It a certain home run
You bet'cha boots Bobby .. I happily concur sir
I liked this whole presentation for many known and unknown reasons: Firstly, I am shocked that I have not heard about this gem, Gil Scott-Heron, and his legacy of spoken word and influence on hip-hop. I’m glad that there is so much more to artistry yet undiscovered. Secondly, your words, were so haunting as if you were describing the super natural scenes I witnessed (fully sober) of New Orleans when I went on a road trip during Covid and we visited the city when no jazz musicians could perform due to the lock down-People were walking around like the living dead-it was so haunting as if there was no life and ‘Satan’ had taken over the city and now I know why-It was because there was no jazz and no voo doo could protect anyone-It a sign of a great art if it helps you make references and personal meaning…Thanks for this Bobby!
All that you said had life and reason and poetic hue. This thing we do just borrows from the buzz that hums In excellent time. Gil Scot is THAT dude that invented it. My favorite wordsmith. That award winning series Homeland used a Gil Scot tune to open every episode, and Clint Eastwood features him often . It is he that coined the term “ the revolution Will not be televised” I often do a tribute to him at open mics after a disclaimer informing Im a million miles away. If o can dig up a video I’ll inbox it to you just for grins. So proud you liked the piece. Two taps on my heart.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10208377751135642&id=100009992197519&mibextid=v7YzmG
Ill open through Facebook
Thank you for the introduction and sharing-for your ‘poetic hue’ as well …
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