Disappearing Into The Darkness

Life moves forward; yet, I still remain in the past

Trying to pull myself together, but I keep collapsing to my knees

I continue living in misery

How I wake up every morning still to abide unsolved

Demons ingrained in my head won't fade away

Divulging to me I would never see the light of day

I strive to stay brave & strong for the ones that mean the most

But they see me as intrusive

I strive to live the life I want & deserve, but cannot succeed

Society has me tantalized in its clutch

I try to break free from the manacles of negative thoughts

It's a hard that can never be achieved

I do not have a mind of my own

I have become a serf,to societies throne

Ruminating too much about the "what ifs"

Without looking to see I'm at the brink of the abyss

I don't know who I am anymore

I sense I'm a complete stranger to myself

They say time heals all things

If time heals, then why do I keep stressing -

And cannot heal myself?

I continue trying to prove to society that I'm not a mistake

Like a vehicle without brakes

My heart shudders with fear & agony

Fear of disaffirmation & susceptibility

In this world I somehow find my way, a passage I will bid welcome

With strength I'll cast ahead, my dreams I will never jettison

Although the skies grow darker & wind roar loud, I will sail through

For in my heart, I hold the truth, I am not a mistake