Five Lies Depression Told Me

The sadness in my head

Makes my body feel like

Lead.

I can't let myself feel;

I can't let myself heal.

He lied to me,

That demon in my head,

He told me I was worth

Nothing.

And I believed him.

He spoke to me,

He wouldn't leave,

He told me that I

Couldn't be loved.

And I believed him.

I felt worthless;

Unloved,

Like I can't trust

Them,

Or even myself.

He told me then,

That demon so dear,

That I was nothing

But broken.

I believed him.

He warned me of myself,

As if I didn't know

The dangers of me

Were the dangers of him

Embedded in my body.

He loves me now

That demon so near,

He tucks me in at night

And kisses me under 

The reading light.

He whispered to me,

That demon so powerful,

That I was just a child,

All weak,

Although worn.

I cried that night,

The first night he came,

I felt his demonic presence

Laugh with me

As depression invaded.

I felt him every moment after that,

The dry eyes studying

The zoning out during class.

He told me if I killed myself

People might love me more.

212 days after I attempted suicide,

With scars on my arm,

And a butterfly on my hand,

I feel the demon still,

Cackling at the sight of his child.