The most hated man in America.

I’m getting wasted as we speak.
Before that happens I want to try
and share why I should get the prize
for  being the most hated man in America.
First of all my lady thinks I’m cold and distant.
She says she can’t have a conversation with me.
Well, der, it’s not my fault I can’t think of anything to say.
Second of all I don’t wash my dirty socks very often.
I mean I put them under the pillow so I don’t lose them.
So what is the problem?
My lady nags me. I mean she tells me to take the garbage
out ten times a week . I’ll get around to it. I promise.
My wife stays out and I don’t call her to check on her.
She complains that I don’t care. I see it as giving
her some freedom. I just can’t win.
I’m out of work at the moment. I mean I look for a job
most days. They reckon the economy is in a down turn.
I’m waiting for it to turn up again.
And that time Rachel from down the street came
over to watch the game with me. We are not having
an affair or nothing. We both like football.
I really don’t know why I am the most hated
man in America. But I am.