Anorexia

My brain is eating me alive

After having dinner with desert

A sin I need to attone for 

Lemon curd cake in exchange for my pain 

It's not because I'm vain 

A misconception about this disease 

That tells me food is my enemy 

And hunger my sole salvation 

Having to say no to everything food entails 

It's the only thing I still control with my life off the rails 

I'm alone in my suffering 

And that's how it should stay

Starvation as my only company 

My mental emptiness aligned with the physical 

I'm so self critical 

It's me against myself and the only thing I can do is lose 

There is no escaping the thing I hate most 

Because food is needed to live 

And my body is needed to survive 

But that's hard to remember when my brain is eating me alive