Roses soft like my lips were
when the skies smelled like the rain
And the CDs played in your room
and your body was above my head
like the colorful umbrellas
behind closed doors
The shining winter is where my heart fluttered
It flew and the streams were full of smiling fish
Now there is pitch dark in winter and we squeeze each others’ hands like the succulents scorching for their monthly thirst for a merciless and “hazy strange winter”
Offline)
Comments20
i love how descriptive this poem is! the motif of nature is really interesting. have a good day 🙂
Thank you and indeed, all is there in nature…
this is a very special post indeed .. like magic, having savoured every single word, when I close my eyes,
I can see clearly without any effort at all every single thing you appear to have effortlessly crafted ..
Bravo Parisab .. Neville
You are always so kind for keeping your mind and heart open. I am glad the words resonated with you, Neville.
I made a few minor changes you might find more cohesive…
This strongly indicates your awareness is so well tuned to the angles of life. I liked this piece a lot talented lady of the introspective poems.
Thank you Bobby for enjoying the work-I’m so looking forward to our exchanges this new year-warm wishes from the West Side…
Ditto w a smile.
This sounds like a poetic expression of a romantic relationship. The poem describes the feeling of love and longing for a partner, using vivid, sensuous imagery. It sounds like the speaker is reminiscing about a past relationship, perhaps with someone who used to make them feel butterflies in their stomach. The images of rain, colorful umbrellas, and smiling fish may symbolize the beauty and passion of the relationship, while the mention of a "scorching" winter may reflect the pain and sadness of the speaker after the relationship ended. I’m not. Sure if any of this is accurate but i really like the poem
Beautiful interpretation-thanks vivid !
Wow. Beautiful work. I relate. You paint a vivid scene with your beautiful words.
So awesome that you like it esteemed Poet…
How very beautiful, winters have become gloomy and dark and warm somewhat in Italy too, I remember them being freezing yet crisp blue sky with a welcoming sun, there's hardly any snow too. Sad reminder our planet isn't in good nick. 🤗
I miss visiting where you are, even if winter are hazier. You are so very kind for your read and comment.
This is the stuff timeless books are written of... It's such a "touch, smell and feel" kind of poem, loaded with fondness and nostalgia, you know. The person written of in the piece, the scenery, the closeness of memory... shall simply never die...
Be very proud of these words, gifted one. They are a portrait in time.
Indeed intimacy comes with time and words come sometimes too late-thank you for finding them timeless, Garth
Bloomin brilliant ... 🌹
I’m so grateful, Neville…
Poignantly melancholic and sad. As a retired psychologist I have heard this story before and lived it as well so it has familiar notes and its music is as dark as a winter day.
"Now there is pitch dark in winter and we squeeze each others’ hands like the succulents scorching for their monthly thirst"
A very powerful line. Brilliant
Means a lot coming from a poet at heart! It turns out that we are colleagues as psychologists, after all:)
hey, do you plan on making another poem??
Hey Vivid, looking for the motivation and inspiration. Why don’t you start a fusion poem on the site, I’ll try to flow and rhyme after you since your energy is contagious.
i made the fusion poem!
the shining winter is where my heart fluttered
it flew and the streams were full
of smiling fish
I sense a change in a relationship here. What was once bright even in the coldest season has lost some heat and light. Beautiful poetic expression Parisiab. A fabulous piece of poetry.
I truly appreciate your refreshing view of this piece, Cassie:)
The imagery is stunning
Especially liked "smiling fish"
Only complaint I have is we don't see enough writing from you
That being said
They are always worth the wait
Superb
So glad to see you here with deep appreciation …
.... incredible ink even more cohesively daubed .. quite simply beautifully scribed .. Neville
your comments mean a lot.. cheers to you..
to put it quite simply, those subtle changes you made make an already fine poem so very much more refined .. excellence at its very best .. Neville
Glad it is to your liking-subtle is in order in the harsh terrain 😊
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.