My Name

           I don’t know when it started,

I can’t find a reason.

            I guess time works like water,

Eroding feelings away.

            I’m unsure how it happened,

Why it hurts so bad,

            Now the first gift ever received,

Feels like poison to me.

            A name is a prediction,

Of what the future holds,

            It tells people who you are,

Before they even know.

            It’s the way that I’m addressed,

By family, friends, and peers,

            A thing of curiosity,

The first you ever own.

            Nicknames come and nicknames go,

Some to endear and some to hurt the soul.

            Some are self-given for places made of code,

Some are self-inflicted when pain overflows.

            I don’t know when it started,

You called me by name,

            But the name you used sounded foreign,

Like an insult that day.

            I don’t know how it happened,

My name is not my own,

            Now a name self-given,

Sounds more like home.

            I don’t know how to tell you,

I’m not the name you gave,

            I can’t explain the reason,

I told my name goodbye.

            I used to like my name,

But something now has changed,

            So I live in limbo,

A stranger to my name.