Is it killing me?

I have a strange dilemma:

I'll put it on the page;

Things together that we do,

The dark, and the sage. 

It's something like a double life,

But your always centre stage...

Stage one is work;

My hours now are few.

Now when my work is over,

Relaxing is what I do.

You always have time for me,

You always make a way

It is strange I love you most?

I praise you every day

For all you get me through...

Is it such a blunder?

I love to be with you.

You fill my thoughts with wonder...

Showing what is true. 

Man cannot comprehend what you have arranged. 

Now to my dilemma-

It does seem rather strange

When I am close to you, my body takes a blow..

Feet, ankles, gut, skin..

Even my eyes get dim.

Should I worry that it's you?

Or will your faithfulness see me through?

"Physical ailments

Spiritual trap."

"Get with the strength

We beat all that crap."

I'll keep going even if I have to crawl. 

You may think I am broken with my back to the wall?

This much I can tell you-

I am not about to fall. 

I'll wake with the dawning refreshed and bright...

Stage one in the morning, 

Stage two at night.