Shoot Me in the Arm

I know it's self-destructive.

I know it's hurting others.

But through the fuzzy warmth, I can't seem to care.

I don't do it on purpose, but it's a feeling I can't let go.

The thrill of chasing that dragon is like nothing you can imagine.

I have tried to stop, to take care of myself and others,

but I can only ever get so far before falling.

It's a mess I got myself into, but one I can't escape alone.

I've tried to clean up, but it's not that easy for an addict.

Every time I put down the needle, the thrill of the high replays in my mind like a broken record.

I don't 'enjoy' it, but I've become reliant on the poison coursing through my veins.

You say you don't recognize me, but that's okay,

I don't recognize me either.

I hope you don't resent me when I become a shell of my past.

I can't promise I won't hurt you;

But I can promise it won't be intentional.

I truly hope that through the blackouts and the jelly-like state of myself,

that maybe one day, you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

But until then, I'll be here; still trapped in that delicate euphoria.