A Prisoner Of My True Feelings

I'm lying, oh I'm so lying,

Behind the words I say,

Is a complete lie,

And I am dying to say more,

Than meets the eye.

I will tell you I want to kick you to the moon,

And in reality,

I want you to hold me so close,

It's not even funny.

I like your playful jokes,

Even if I act annoyed,

But I never want you to stop,

Because somehow it's uncomfortable,

When you're not smiling or laughing or telling jokes.

I don't know when you got so affectionate,

And when I started to like it,

But it's weird for me,

Because I don't want to let you go,

But I feel torn between what I am and what we do.

I wish you would admit your feelings too,

And I don't want to feel like I'm in a one-sided romance,

Because I'm not the girl who ends up with a prince,

And I know this,

But I also be lying,

If I said I wasn't attracted,

To this man who makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach.

He holds me and I embrace when I'm in a panic,

And I'm driving myself insane,

Because I see him when I fall asleep,

What is he thinking?

Is he feeling the same as me,

Or am I just living in a fantasy,

Is this just a momentary infatuation,

Or is it something deeper,

Something real and true.

I try to push these thoughts away,

But they keep coming back,

Like waves crashing against the shore,

Relentless and unstoppable.

I want to confess my feelings,

But fear holds me back,

Afraid of rejection,

Afraid of ruining what we have.

So I continue to lie,

To myself and to him,

Hiding behind a facade,

Pretending I don't feel the way I do.

But deep down,

In the depths of my soul,

I know the truth,

I know that I'm lying.

Lying to myself,

Lying to him,

Lying to the world,

Hiding the feelings that threaten to consume me.

I long to be honest,

To open up my heart,

To let him see the real me,

But fear holds me back,

Keeping me trapped in this facade.

I am dying to break free,

To let the truth be known,

To confess my feelings,

And see where they may lead.

But for now,

I continue to lie,

Saying one thing,

While feeling another,

Hoping that someday,

I will find the courage,

To speak the truth,

And let my heart be free.