Random Thoughts 2

I don’t think about my future

Don’t give me a god damn lecture

I only think about my past

My life isn’t moving that fast

So many bad memories

So many internal enemies

My childhood wasn’t great

It all started when I was eight

Didn’t have any friends

I just wanted my life to end

Couldn’t talk to my parents

Cause they thought my life was perfect

Got bullied all the time

I just told people I was fine

People just thought I was an object

With no feelings

Didn’t want to wake up in the mornings

Didn’t want to deal with my life

So why even try

Didn’t want to live

Didn’t want to give

Don’t know how I survived

Don’t know how I arrived

At the thought of depression

Never had a therapy session

I only think about my past

Don’t know how to move forward

My life was always awkward

People always told me I would fail

Or end up in jail

Got so nervous

Got so anxious

When talking to people

I think these memories are fatal

Will never be able

To feel better

Hopefully this won’t last forever

Don’t want to be living

When will this end? Never

Are you kidding

I’m hiding

These feelings inside

What can I expect

In the future?

More disrespect?

Or more self hatred?

Maybe I should get wasted

Maybe I will forget

All of this negativity

I need to find a remedy

Something that’s not therapy

Maybe I just need to move on

Learn to forget

Maybe that’s what I will do

Just forget