The Pain Inside

Jeffery Lee Palmer

I knew I would make mistakes.

But never to these lengths
 
I never imagined I would hurt you this bad
 
Now, we smile as we pass, but I can't stand
 
nor imagine another man
 
holding your hand
 
I find myself at a crossroads
 
scanning through excuses like barcodes
 
I know I need to decide
 
If I should stay and fight
 
To make things right
 
But I don't want to hold up your life
 
I regret and selfishly mourn the loss of you
 
But in all fairness, you deserve a life, too
 
I walk the train tracks
 
Fighting the urge to look back
 
The vibration of the tracks
 
and rocks shifting
 
Reminds me I'm still living
 
I step out of the way but secretly
 
I want the train to hit me
 
It has always been about me.
 
Always wanting things to be easy
 
I treated you like a robot
 
Every kilowatt of energy I drained
 
could never be replaced
 
I saw the fuse was burned and broken
 
at that moment, I knew our love was dead
 
I never considered your end
 
The fact I was the luckiest man
 
I took my fortune for granted
 
I always thought you would stay
 
assuming you would never leave
 
It always depended on my day
 
If our relationship is would be okay
 
I treated it all like a game
 
I rubbed your feet and said the sweet things
 
Inside my heart strings were crossed
 
and I ended up paying the ultimate cost
 
Those nights, I got drunk and high
 
I never truly treated you right
 
​You have a tolerance
 
​Much higher than mine
 
When I watched you drive away
 
You didn't even look back at me
 
No eyes in the rearview
 
The shock hit right on cue
 
Your lips were all I could see
 
as your car sped away
 
those pink glossy lips
 
I will never be blessed to kiss
 
and I will eternally miss
 
All the promises of love
 
Choked out by the exhaust
 
-Jeffery Lee Palmer (Take Your Knife)
  • Author: TakeYourKnife (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: April 12th, 2024 14:55
  • Comment from author about the poem: I started compiling my writing into a collection I called the "Glass Fingers and Stone Hearts." I was prompted to post and publish my writings, so I came across this site and decided to start here.
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 3
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