Jason

You make me feel this warmth

A strange warmth from my heart, flooding through my veins

Sitting outside, reaching out toward the wilted rose, careful of its thorns

Leaning closer to it with a smile as it starts to rain

The water dripping over my warm and scarred body

And it feels good, I feel happy, no longer sad

Strange how you make me feel that way, I just want you to love me

So desperately, so bad

Because the truth is-

I love you, with every notification of your text, every stupid joke

My heart beats a little quicker, my smile widens just a little

The weight on my shoulders loosens, and I feel a rush of excitement that I almost choke

I once used to want to walk toward Death, but now you stand in the middle

Every stupid fight we have, our little banters

You're memes and humor, they just light something in me

A strange ethereal fire, burning along my being, a reactor

That makes me feel almost light, laughing, feeling happy

My broken parts finally complete

But I know you have your own pains

You've told me, and act all cool and nonchalant

Shrugging it off if it gets dark or rains

But I know, in some foreign part of you, it hurts your heart

And I want to be there for you

I'm sorry I'm not perfect, neither is my life, but I will always be there

Don't push me away, I know what its called, don't disassociate, I wish you'd see yourself from my view

Because to me, you're not broken, you're not perfect, not weak or scared

You're beautifully imperfect, forget all the screams from your parents

Because you are not a fuck-up, you're just your own unique you

No more pills, no more antidepressants

Don't try to end your life so soon when there's so much more you could do

When there's so much people who love and need you

When I need you

And sometimes, I'm not sure if you love me back the same

Because sometimes I dream of you and me, dancing in the rain

Like little flashes, laughing, smiling, hand in hand, wearing your sweater

Walking through the storm together

Parting the clouds, not minding the stormy weather

As long as I have you

And sometimes I think about what it would be like if you hurt me

But I hope that just like you're my one and only, you won't cheat

Even though you're far away, that warmth you bring helps me sleep

Saying goodnight, then good morning, talking all afternoon

I can't stop thinking of you

What it'd be like when we're together, you me and your dog, Buster

Strange, how just one flirty remark makes me flustered

Evolving from all the sadness and darkness we were

Of course, pain will still come, it is a part of everything

But for now, you are that everything

And again, I'm sorry I'm not perfect

I know I have broken parts, conditions, defects

But I will try to be there for you always

Through rain, lightning, darkness, or any pain

Know that I'm here for you, that I don't hate you, that no matter how much you push me away I'll be here

Through scars and tears

I'll listen to every conversation, every interpretation, every imagination of constellations

Be with you through every laugh, every angry emotion, any dream you'd want to persue

Because the simple truth is, Jason

I love you