Dedda

The first time I drank alcohol 

I saw my father

Until I looked into a mirror

And what I saw was me 

So I drank, and I drank, and I drank 

Until what I saw in my reflection was him 

Until when I looked in my hands, he was holding mine

Until his words came from my mouth 

And his smile, my eyes

The first time, I did not drink alcohol 

I saw myself 

Until I looked into a mirror

And he was looking at me 

So I did not drink. I did not drink. I did not drink 

Until what I saw in my reflection was me 

Until I could look at my hands 

And I saw where I started and where he ends

Until I could say what I meant 

And my smile lay on my mouth 

And my eyes were my own 

The first time I learnt that similar does not mean absolutely

I closed my eyes 

I told my dad goodnight 

Just because we are similar does not mean we are the same 

I hear you sigh in relief 

And say 

You were never meant to follow me to the grave