Nobody Cares

Sometimes, it feels like nobody cares

Like my words are a waste of air

Writing another poem nobody's going to read

Thinking things no one else could ever conceive

Skin paling at another one of my episodes

Ignore the shaking, keep smiling, don't lose it please, just be composed

Hands itching to grab the nearest blade and hold it pressed to my skin

Cut, cut, the pain away, slash until it all stops hurting, keep at it

Breathing in and out slowly, sorry Mrs. Therapist, your exercise isn't working

Trying to believe I'm something, trying to swim through the dark waters but truth is, I'm drowning

Bright lights going fuzzy, noises blending together, standing in the middle of stormy weather

Cutting, destroying to create something new, but it doesn't work, starving myself to keep slender

And nobody cares

Why would they? Life's not fair

Who would give a fuck about another stupid teenager

With stupid thoughts, they're just hormones, deal with it, right?

Because you have your own battles to fight

Not even my so called family and friends

Would help if I tried to make it all end

I could be sitting next to them, and they wouldn't care

I could cut myself or slit my throat and they would probably just stare

Because, honestly, who would care

About me? Who, no, what am I? Nothing

Just a big nothing trying to be something

Something I'm not, trying to run from the truth, the dark and forlorn

But the truth is, I was always bound to be alone

Going day by day, dealing with all of this shit

Tired of dealing with all of it

Feeling like I'm crazy, I must be, I have to be mental

No, Dad, please stop taking fentonyl

Screaming, crying on the inside

Wanting with my all sometimes to just die

Seeing everyone else smiling, holding each others hands

Hugging, giving a shoulder to cry on

Looking in each others eyes, saying, "shh, I understand" 

While I'm over here alone, my insomnia keeping me up til dawn

To keep going on in life

Trudging through mud and strife

Trying to not drown

And nobody cares

Why would they, its just a frown

Why would they care

I'm just nothing

Why would you care

I'm not something