Almost Turned Out The Lights

I was drunk in Mexico

When I found, on accident, that my friend was leaving my company

I described him as the most loyal person for years

And had an understanding of trust - if you want to leave, tell me

I will support your decisions - what friend would not?

I found from another he was leaving

It cut me and my soul with betrayal and sadness 

Stole from me something I’ll never get back

Trust and Faith and Naivety

And so I ran from my head and

I drank and drank and drank more tequila

The shots were free and flowed as such

I was lost and I couldn’t find my way to my posh room

So I asked a friend there for the way and found it finally

After some time and help to being alone

My way to destiny was closer found 

My thoughts took me to a dark place where

Mental creatures lurked hard, sinister and real

So dark that there didn’t seem to be an escape so

I put on some music and sang but song words did not free me

My thoughts turned darker and darker

Escape was elusive

I sat on the balcony and I cried and cried and cried

They say you can manifest your reality

That night, I manifested and envisioned jumping off

The balcony and lying dead in a pool of blood

My arms and legs contorted

My head canted sideways looking at my flight path

I was so close to turning off the lights

That night