Overthinking Society

As you look around a crowd you see one thing

people

where as I see you and every individual

 

I see me in the reflection of your eyes locked in awkward eye contact

 yet you do not smile

or even nod,

you keep scanning

looking around,

 

Do you really look?

at first I pretend that maybe I was unnoticed, but no

you purposefully ignored me

 

I doubt

I think to myself, no there is no way 

I'm sure it was a mistake,

do you hate me, or how I look

 

I feel overwhelmed,

consumed by my thoughts.

I look down and try to ignore,

but to my surprise when I look up again you're gone.

 

Confused I am left,

I only looked down for a moment there is no way you left so soon

I ponder, until finally

 

It clicks,

this whole time I was looking around the room,

looking for someone who was judging me,

I became so consumed by that thought alone,

what stopped me from simply smiling or nodding at you,

I did what I feared would happen to me

 

Overthinking how people see me,

yet again left embarrassed,

saying to myself it wont happen again,

knowing tomorrow will be the same

or maybe it wont