anxiety driven conversations

My anxiety isn’t like most people

Instead of shutting down and staying quiet

I talk out of anxiousness and fear

Fear of the awkward silence that fills the room

Yet oddly enough my anxiety can go away

If the conversation flows and strays the way I’m comfortable then I’m not really complaining

However I suppose the anxiety turns over to worrying if I’ll say something embarrassing or offensive by accident

I try to put meanings in my words to keep the talk interesting and fun

Let’s just hope I’m not boring you

Are you enjoying the conversation we’re having right now or would you prefer to talk to someone else?

I hope this is okay

The after party of the conversation is more pitiful

I stress and replay the words in my head, criticizing myself and wishing I said differently

But the more thought I put into it,

The more I realise it doesn’t necessarily matter

Conversations can be fun, sad, awkward

Conversations don’t have to always go your way

I guess I can thank my anxiety

For providing me with a variety of conversations