Open Wound

There are some days

Where I grip the sheets harder than normal

And feel my skin more frequently 

And dart my eyes around the room in panic

And almost feel trapped

Like I did on that day

Calling out for help

Begging for an ending

To this panic

This pain

The agony

It lingers

After all this time

Like an open wound

That doesn’t disappear

It holds control

I fear

That one day

I will see you again

Your orange hair

And the thousands of freckles on your face

And that childish smile

I fear everyone that looks like you from behind

I can feel my heart drop

Even when the same brand of car drives past me 

There's a thought in the back of my head

That maybe

You are near me

And I don't even know it

And I wonder

What it would be like

If I used a bit my force

My doubtful strength 

And maybe yelled louder

So the cries for help could be heard

Just maybe you wouldn’t be everywhere

And peace would be normal

And wishfully 

I’d be set free.