doubtful hope.

my bus got cancelled this morning

and even though i knew it wasn’t coming 

i still looked in the direction 

hoping to see it come down the road.

i haven’t messaged in awhile 

and even though i knew you wouldn’t message first

i still check if you’re typing 

hoping you think about me too.

you tend to share a part of my mind 

thinking about what could’ve been 

what i could’ve done differently 

but no matter what

i knew you didn’t feel the same 

i knew it wouldn’t happen 

i knew you didn’t think about me 

like i thought of you. 

i knew that no matter what i did even if i did things differently 

you wouldn’t have liked me too 

you wouldn’t write about me like i do for you

you wouldn’t look at pictures of us and smile like i do

and it hurts 

knowing that all my hope was false 

because i think my heart will always hold a space for you

and it hasn’t let you go.