Words to say someday; Well God

Words to say, Someday

Don’t ask me to trust you

Don’t tell me to calm down

After what you put me through

i don't want your crown

And I don’t want your money

Your high and mighty seat

All pretty and neat

“It was just a joke”

You think it’s funny?

To see me choke

Unable to breathe?

I have all right to be angry 

filled with rage 

You locked a canary 

Inside of a cage

You tell me to be quiet 

You tell me to hush

Don’t start a riot

Well, i don't want to shush

silent  and compliant

I want to be loud 

Annoying and proud

it’s not “love”-

You balling your fist

Grabbing my wrist

“I never hurt you!”

Oh really, is that true

You say you cared 

So explain why i’m so scared

When you cracked my head 

did you not want me dead?

Did you think you were being fair 

When you ripped out hair

Did you love me then?

What you did din’t count

oh way back when

When you made me bleed

Both inside and out

Was that “just the thing i need”

I "SUCK IT UP"

don't I?

drank the poisoned cup

didn't scream, didn't cry

never said a word

didn’t question why

made sure my tears went unheard 

my shoulders sag

 a human punching bag

not sure if i'd get 'Kind And Serene'

or 'Raging Machine”

thought that it was average 

to be the source of rage

Quickly from one mood to the next

not knowing with whom i’d dine

Dearest reader,

Out in the ether 

Maybe you think this the abuse of a lover

How sad you must be to find that this was my mother

I've found that this wasn't okay

and I'll say it aloud

...

someday 

Well God,

Surely it’s written in holy text

Cause “everything happens for a reason”

I need to get this off my chest

Cause that’s a valid explanation

“Hardships last for only a season”

“All i need is salvation”

“Just trust in “God”, it’ll all work out you’ll see”

answers like these i just can’t stand

Well god, since i got your word

Here’s one from me

I don’t understand 

And i don’t see

I find the very idea of you rather absurd

Well God, have you heard

Is this what you wanted?

For me to live a life so haunted

Well god, give me a sign

if you even exist 

If this is your design then

When will you give me a little assist

Well god, i’m not sure

if your even here

Well God,

…did you dissapear?