Spiraling In Silence Poem, by emptythoughts, at My poetic side

slowly repeating the cycles of depression

my mind keeping my feelings locked up

this is prison

I’m not making bail

or getting out on parole

I never got offered a plea deal

instead, I got bipolar disorder

and hallucinations I cannot control

I get pills instead of meals

and a blanket of uncontrollable anger

with a pillow of sadness to pair

if I’m lucky, a shower of happiness will turn on for an hour

just in time for me to do my hair.

my prison isn’t fun.

I think the only way out of my sentence is the death penalty for my suicidal thoughts to become actions.

but then again there is no end.

my sentence is this silent spiral.

to suffer and pretend to be alright.

I’m a 17-year-old girl who hides her true identity from this site,

but why?

in fear of being recognized?

in fear of being ostracized?

in fear of the spiral becoming real

and then I’d have to face the fears I hide from in real life?

Yeah, right….

I’m not fine.

Comments +

Qurrathul Ain June 10th, 2024 20:48
I'm sorry but there must be some light you could hold onto. We won't know who is willing to give us a hand or shine a light on us when we are in this prison. I think everyone's been to this place. But if we try reaching outside, there definitely be some help. Sometimes, instead of reaching outside for help, we could try reaching within ourselves. It does wonders. Don't give up on yourself. You're the only one who can be there for you.

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