Not Again

This time will not be like the others, and this time I mean what I say,

Because I have already seen it play out, and I will not let it end the same way.

I will not give you that kind of power to have that control over me,

And to get lost in the thoughts of everything that you and I could be.

I have been down this road before, and I have learned so much,

And I will not get lost by the feeling of your touch.

As much as I want to believe it all to be true, I need to put my feelings of you aside,

Because even though you are not the same person, I can not forget all of the tears that I cried.

I was torn apart for years over someone who never cared about me,

And I am frustrated with myself for taking so long to see.

Even though that person and I are done,

I still think all of the time about how my life would be different if I had found one.

And while there is a very good chance that I will never see him again,

I will never forget the harsh words that came from someone who I thought was my friend.

He’s out of my life,  but the damage still remains,

And when I hear his name, there is still a little bit of pain.

And I am trying to stay positive and not let the same thing happen with you,

But part of me feels like there is always a chance that that will end up being true.

Regardless of what happens, the power is now in your hands,

I have no other future plans.

Even though I know I will be waiting to hear from you,

I know there is nothing else for me to do.

I have learned a lot and grown from when this happened before,

And I am not going to let someone control my life anymore.

I am going to keep working for everything that I want to get,

Because I still have so much to do, and I am not even close to being done yet.

I hope it works out with you, but if it doesn’t, that is okay,

Because I am not letting anyone control how I achieve my goals throughout the day.