I am.

I learnt that 

First, I am not a good friend

When we get into a quarrel, my first instinct is to apologise and hide

From your wrath or failure of rejection 

I do not know 

 

But I know that 

Secondly, I am a bad daughter

I offer barely any sort of assistance to you when we both are clearly struggling

I am sorry

 

Because I realised that 

Neither am I a good student

A mix of procrastination and apathy

Like a stage VI bed cancer

 

And lastly, I am a bad person overall

In any role I am in

A friend who is non-existent

A daughter bringing disgrace to the family

A student who does barely the minimum

A leader bringing the team to failure

A team member who brings nothing to the table

 

I could go on and on about every flaw of myself

But I would not want to bore you with my insecurities,

my overthinking with no plan to change in my mind

Just a highly painful self-awareness constantly haunting me

I believe I have been enlightened on my suffocating negativity

That I can't contain under my ominous appearance,

ill-fitting jeans and bleeding scars 

Thank you.