please think of me

Look under a rock, you will find me.

With a diary beside me.

Dated March 18’th.

2020.

Cause that’s all I could be.

That’s where I am.

I wish I could go forward.

But I am stuck in my past.

How could it be already 4 years?

Since all of it happened to me.

The beauty now I lack.

Is gone in a glimpse of an eye.

That lasted a thousand years.

For mom and dad it was a couple of weeks.

Maybe a month.

But for me it’s eternity.

All the things I see.

All around me.

Once belonged to me.

The happiness the content.

All the children’s laughs.

I could say that I fought at least.

Won the battle.

Lost the war.

Lost on a surface of a star.

Burning brightly.

Penetrating deep through me.

Leaving all kinds of scars.

sewn poorly.

Bleeding till I die.

And I won’t get a constellation.

Written in the skies.

Written in my name.

I wish I could stop, figuring out my past.

Worrying about what is ahead of me.

And watch a single frame.

Of what I am doing now.

And what I could be.

It’s not about my luck.

Or where I was raised.

It’s something I could never change.

It’s just a thought to be.

Broken and forgotten.

But what one can do?

I guess I will live through.

Move and move and move.

Deeper shades of blue.

Move and move and move.

Far away from all rays.

In a land with a blackish hue.

Move move move.

Move move move.

Move.

Use your youth…