Dad

Hey dad, how are you?

I hope everything's been good for you since we left

You know, when mom took me from you and your abuse

When you broke her nose and watched her as she wept

And I know it was probably for the best we left but

One question keeps bothering me; Why? I mean just-

Why did you have to be such a shitty dad

Was the beer bottle more important than my mom and me

Because that's just sad

Have you ever even thought of me or cared at all

Ever wonder about my life?

That boy I was when we left grew up, was enthralled

At everything he touched and saw

Mom found someone else but me and them never got along

So the boy learned to put up some walls

He moved from state to state, learning, thriving, playing tunes

Until he got to middle school, then shit got hard

The boy grew into a teenager who learned heartbreak way too soon

Learned the true nature of the cruel world around him

Fights started happening at home, so much screaming and yelling

Increasing the hurt he felt inside 

The world was too cruel for the boy, he felt so much pain he started cutting

And it was like all his happiness shriveled up and died

That boy grew into a solemn young man, now in high school

That young broken man is me

With such high iron walls no one could call me a fool

Just going along with the flow, a fixed smile all you can see

So you don't see the real me

Do you even remember my birthday?

Its January the fifteenth

For years on that date

I'd wait for a letter from you

Just a card, a note, some kind of acknowledgement

Some kind of sign that you care for me

Some kind of sentiment

Because we're family

And God, I used to be so mad at you

I used to ignore the truth

That I needed you

Another guy to look up to

Someone to share thoughts, conversations, feelings

But your lack of give a fuck is leaving me reeling

You know, there was this one dad who went to the moon

An astronaut who could have done anything but the first thing

The first thing he did was write his child's initials on the surface, there's no gravity on the moon

So they'd be there forever

What kind of dad does that?

Not you, so that's another dream for me to sever

I mean, you can't even make contact

Even when I walk outside, on the beach

There's dads with their sons, looking so damn happy 

Giggling, holding hands, eating ice cream

When I don't even know where you are, why you don't care or love me

What did I do wrong for you to hate me?

So yeah dad, just wanted to say

Thanks for not being here or caring about me

Even though I'm your "blood", your "family"

But obviously you're incapable of love

So I'll just say this:

I'm not mad at you, just disappointed

Disappointed and sad, maybe a little pissed

That I'm here alone at night writing about you

When you could care less about me

And maybe one day we'll meet 

Maybe then I'll feel complete

But until then, have a nice life dad

Hope its not like mine; sad

I'll just be here dealing with stupid daddy issues

Writing worthless words about an uncaring you