Darker than black

sorenbarrett

 I lay among ants beaten by cane poles
barefoot on broken glass I dance, swallowing burning coals
Darker than black are my days 
pealed from you like skin separates from flesh in filetes  

Heads and tails on the same coin
Dreams with realities shadow to rejoin
Dreams I say for dreams they are
seen at night as a distant star

They dissolve in morning light
leaving me longing for the night

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Comments +

Comments12

  • rebellion_in_sanity

    I had a strange sensation of experiencing something which was raw and primitive yet artistic and eerily beautiful. Please do correct me if I missed the essence of the poem.

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you so much for the read and insightful comment yes the primitive lies just below the surface of art and civilization.

    • Doggerel Dave

      The pain of separation... But when sleep and the nonexistent possibilities leave you, and the pain returns, the need to confront....So well pinned, Soren.

      • sorenbarrett

        Thanks Dave yes separation is a key element in this piece and sleep is the darkness of the night with light.

      • Teddy.15

        Darken than black, superb dreams of someone dearly dearly missed. It's when we wake up that it's more painful 🌹

        • sorenbarrett

          Thank you dear friend tis true as you have said. A most insightful read. Appreciated

        • Neville



          this is like breaking bad but only a damned sight better .. and I loved breaking bad .. write on sb .. Neville

          • sorenbarrett

            Thanks Neville appreciate the supportive words.

          • Bella Shepard

            The pain of unbearable loss is so tangible in your words, finding comfort only in the unconscious state of dreams. Unbeliveably sad, and yearning for what will never be.
            Wonderfully versed my friend.

            • sorenbarrett

              Dear Bella you see through the cloud of words to the inner core of the poem. Thank you so much for your read and interpretation.

            • orchidee

              I'm gonna play a game with KP now.
              Toss a coin 100 times. She guesses heads every time; I guess tails every time.
              I will win every time. She doesn't know the coin has two tails! heehee.

              • sorenbarrett

                Used to have one of those but lost it in a bet. Thanks for the read Orchi

                • orchidee

                  Lol.

                • HolesInMyJeans

                  Your rhyming is exquisite

                  • sorenbarrett

                    I humbly thank you. Your comments mean a great deal

                  • Thad Wilk

                    A very poignant 😢
                    and emotional write!!
                    Loss can become
                    most unbearable
                    In the night!
                    Eloquently penned
                    my friend! 👍
                    Best regards ✌️ Thad

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you so much Thad I very much appreciate your reviews and comments.

                    • Dan Williams

                      I really like the way you use the minimum of words to get your mood across. My dreams don't always dissolve. Nice.

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thank you Dan for the review and comment it is most appreciated. No some dreams are not so water soluble and take longer to dissolve.

                      • Goldfinch60

                        Fine emotive words soren.

                        Andy

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you so much Andy your supportive words mean a great deal

                        • Cassie58

                          A poem of deep loss. Dreams can bring a short lived comfort until reality punches in with the morning light. So poetically expressed and felt deeply. Lovely work.

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thank you so much Cassie for the read and deeply intuitive understanding. It is most valued and appreciated.

                          • aDarkerMind

                            a pain I know only too well Soren.

                            a very impressive write
                            and I enjoyed every word.

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thank you very much for your read and most supportive words they are appreciated.



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