I lay among ants beaten by cane poles
barefoot on broken glass I dance, swallowing burning coals
Darker than black are my days
pealed from you like skin separates from flesh in filetes
Heads and tails on the same coin
Dreams with realities shadow to rejoin
Dreams I say for dreams they are
seen at night as a distant star
They dissolve in morning light
leaving me longing for the night
- Author: sorenbarrett ( Offline)
- Published: August 10th, 2024 05:34
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 354
- Users favorite of this poem: Teddy.15, Mase ♪, rengoku, Cassie58, aDarkerMind
Comments12
I had a strange sensation of experiencing something which was raw and primitive yet artistic and eerily beautiful. Please do correct me if I missed the essence of the poem.
Thank you so much for the read and insightful comment yes the primitive lies just below the surface of art and civilization.
The pain of separation... But when sleep and the nonexistent possibilities leave you, and the pain returns, the need to confront....So well pinned, Soren.
Thanks Dave yes separation is a key element in this piece and sleep is the darkness of the night with light.
Darken than black, superb dreams of someone dearly dearly missed. It's when we wake up that it's more painful 🌹
Thank you dear friend tis true as you have said. A most insightful read. Appreciated
this is like breaking bad but only a damned sight better .. and I loved breaking bad .. write on sb .. Neville
Thanks Neville appreciate the supportive words.
The pain of unbearable loss is so tangible in your words, finding comfort only in the unconscious state of dreams. Unbeliveably sad, and yearning for what will never be.
Wonderfully versed my friend.
Dear Bella you see through the cloud of words to the inner core of the poem. Thank you so much for your read and interpretation.
I'm gonna play a game with KP now.
Toss a coin 100 times. She guesses heads every time; I guess tails every time.
I will win every time. She doesn't know the coin has two tails! heehee.
Used to have one of those but lost it in a bet. Thanks for the read Orchi
Lol.
Your rhyming is exquisite
I humbly thank you. Your comments mean a great deal
A very poignant 😢
and emotional write!!
Loss can become
most unbearable
In the night!
Eloquently penned
my friend! 👍
Best regards ✌️ Thad
Thank you so much Thad I very much appreciate your reviews and comments.
I really like the way you use the minimum of words to get your mood across. My dreams don't always dissolve. Nice.
Thank you Dan for the review and comment it is most appreciated. No some dreams are not so water soluble and take longer to dissolve.
Fine emotive words soren.
Andy
Thank you so much Andy your supportive words mean a great deal
A poem of deep loss. Dreams can bring a short lived comfort until reality punches in with the morning light. So poetically expressed and felt deeply. Lovely work.
Thank you so much Cassie for the read and deeply intuitive understanding. It is most valued and appreciated.
a pain I know only too well Soren.
a very impressive write
and I enjoyed every word.
Thank you very much for your read and most supportive words they are appreciated.
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