Re: Pitch Submission from Geoffrey Gray.
To Mr Gray,
Unfortunately, your pitch at this morning’s meeting; did not meet the requirements of the board of directors, and we hereby return your written submission.
We do hope that you are not discouraged by this rebuttal.
Kind regards,
Gonerby Fultington Grove Catpith.
(inner monologue) - Rebuttal, hmm! Rebuttal! Hrrr!
Re: Rebuttal of Pitch Submission from Geoffrey Gray.
To Mr Gonerby Fultington Grove Catpith,
Thank you for returning my written submission, and your attached sordid mangily, wangily teeny memo.
Unfortunately, your email does not meet my requirements at present, as I spent the whole of yesterday lunchtime writing the submitted pitch, that you have so instantly rebutted. I can only imagine it’s the firm’s procedure to refuse all pitch submissions, that have not been completed via the accompaniment of an ear bleedingly loud audio description! And yes, I do know that it is bold to reply to any type of censure, but in this world, don’t we strive to be pioneers? In which case, in this, I am. Henceforth, I reserve the right to dub you all: change rapists!
There is still opportunity for all of you to alter your stance on this matter, and I think you will, if you knew what I have in store for our next meeting. I will pull away at your skins to reveal whatever’s left of your dank spirits, of which, I will brutally yank out, and then decant into bottles, to wit, I will store in my tastefully made cellar dungeon, where you’ll be lost forever, guaranteeing your insipid, vacuous business acumen will never sully anywhere in the cosmos ever again!
I do hope that you are not discouraged by your abrupt, vicious demise.
Best wishes,
Geoffrey Gray.
(inner monologue) - Everybody, everybody approved, that he was correct to suck out the souls of the board of directors, and to do it with a Henry Hoover was absolutely sick. Geoffrey, they yelled, no Graham, Graham! Graham, they yelled, bravo, here have this loot crate full of wonderful things, and please visit our glampsite next week!
-
Author:
AuburnScribbler (
Offline) - Published: August 12th, 2024 12:31
- Comment from author about the poem: I thought I would do another “variation on a theme/homage/writing exercise”, based on the work of someone else. To many, the following piece could be labelled as obscure, but nevertheless, it is written with; I hope; a relatable and comedic tone, that I hope is to your liking. “Geoffrey’s Email” is based on the DVD extra vignette, “Bernard’s Letter” from the hilarious situation comedy “Black Books”, that was co-written by, and starred; one of my comic heroes, Dylan Moran. I have included the vignette off YouTube, for you to both enjoy, and to get a general gist of my inspiration. “Bernard’s Letter”, is about Dylan’s character, Bernard Black receiving yet another letter from a publisher rejecting his novel. For that reason, he understandably snaps, by responding with some written acidity. The same occurs in “Geoffrey’s Email”, but the difference is, is that it’s about a guy who receives an email from the board of directors of the firm he works at, rejecting his pitch for the umpteenth time. I picked this particular scenario, as it highlights (or more so, “lowlights”) the overinflated importance of the corporate world, and the way in which it's hierarchy provides such a morbid division of rank; and eradicates the idea of job satisfaction. I hope that you enjoy this “not poem”, I hope that in time; all business, can be “good business”, and as always, please do stay safe everyone.
- Category: Letter
- Views: 10
Offline)
Comments3
A great (cover?) poem as I take it (tongue in cheek) where the tongue is not tied but loosed to whip with many lashes those responsible for a missive. Yours truly for falsely as deem more appropriate. A most fun read
Thanks for the read sorenbarrett, and I'm glad that you enjoyed my cover/variation on a theme.
Though we know this piece is written in a hypothetical tone, there is a very real heartache in it, that happens all over the world, ensuring the same people win, and the same people lose.
I going to imagine what Geoffrey's cellar dungeon looks like now. Hahaha!
Thanks again, and I hope that all is well.
Watched the video, read the poem, loved it. Gave me such a chuckle. Good work!
Thanks for the read Bella, and for such lovely words.
I'm also glad that you had a good laugh, with both Dylan and myself.
I hope that all is well.
Loved it
Thanks for the read Tony36, and I'm glad that you loved it.
I hope that all is well.
You're welcome, hope all is well with you
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.