paroxysm

all you do is scream

like a fucking alarm clock

screeching over and over

echoing through hallways

nobody cares

nobody hears your cries

they occur far too often

and melt into the backdrop

anything sets you off

or nothing at all

like a newborn baby

or a complaining toddler

but you have no excuse

there is no air

no more room for sadness

no tears can be shed here

but your own

you take up all the room

in the entire house

suffocating my poor lungs

drying me out

turning mama to stone

nobody can feel anything

you privileged little thing

you hold all emotions

captive in your lungs

like white noise

your sobs for help

leave no room for rescue

all we can let out

is a sigh of exhaustion

nobody can tell you no

nothing helps

you hold us all, trapped

in the palm of your hand

I apologize for you

I take the fall, but why?

why must I be the one

to save you

I save you

because mama shouldn’t have to

because she deserves better

because I know

you can’t save yourself

you can’t get help

you can’t stop

you

can’t

shut

the

fuck

up