'found'

sometimes i'm afraid of love

not because i don't i'll ever find it

but

because i'm afraid anyone who loves me

i won't be able to love back

because i'm scared

scared they will leave me

scared they will realize they cannot handle me

scared they will choose someone else

i am always the first girl

never the 'found' girl

i just want to be found

i want to fall in love and

not be scared

they are gonna 

leave me

scared

I 

will end up

by myself

with a broken 

heart again

I am so so

so scared

tears fall from my eyes

when I fall for someone

because

I know

whats coming

the anxiety

the fear

the desperate want for them to want

me 

to

I am

terrified

and

I don't know 

how to stop it

how to trust someone

with my heart