Dear Soul

Dear soul, I ache and hurt with indecision

The past and feared future

I’m in quicksand and you know it

Sucking me down, I relax and I’m letting it happen

We are letting it happen

Dear Soul: If I had a safety outlet, would I take it?

Sometimes though, I fight it

I have a great wife and kids, dogs and friends

They love me and I love them

They keep me from introducing myself

To my maker

Dear Soul: the thought rarely leaves me completely

It binds and haunts and taunts and scares me

Randomly the thought pops in my head

Dancing with my emotions and urging me to the abyss

An abyss that’s calling and real and in my face and thoughts

Until I fight it and fight it

And I think of loved ones again and their life after mine

That hurts me more than my life hurt and so I keep on going

Dear Soul - how long can I do this?
What will it take to force these thoughts away?

I think you know what’s needed and what’s right

My head vs heart are in a fierce battle: emotions vs logic

Dear Soul: I am yearning for something just beyond my finger tips

Stretched out, shaking, pleading and begging for purchase

Dear soul: guide me beyond this roller coaster of emotions