Now Out in The Open
It is so very cold here,
out in the open like this ..
Even beside you,
I still shiver and freeze ..
As eventually, I began
to realise
there was no longer
any warmth
left at all in your tone,
your touch,
or the way that you feel ..
Indeed, your truest
of colours have
either been leaked,
had run away, or are now
very long flown ..
However, it seems they
are no longer hiding
right out, in the open ..
Yet still, it is
cold here, right down to
the bone and beyond
and such a very long way
from the home
we once used to reside
and make love in ..
When out of the blue
I recalled
from the platform how
much I always enjoyed
the smell
of coal burning
and the warm breath
of steam rising,
as it unashamedly kissed
me the very
same insane moment,
I eventually, dared to let go ..
- Author: Neville ( Offline)
- Published: September 18th, 2024 01:44
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 19
Comments8
Good write N.
We're cold here emotionally at times - shivery - a time of grieving.
Not hard-hearted, but some of us could not bear to stay long with a loved one when in hospital, not that he was in pain exactly, but suffering.
I quite understand
In a poem that got colder by degrees as I read through, there was a surprising upturn in the final lines. A poem of contrasts between then and now. The warmth is so much kinder on the soul. The cold is callous. I have always hated winter. You convey emotion so very well here Neville. Have a beautiful day my friend.
You know exactly the write buttons to press C don't cha .. thanks chuck & you too
Oh gawd am I in trubble?
Hiding out in the open. Yes indeed I took this for more than just a relationship gone bad but something more hiding out in the open. The litteral story is one of coldness and I felt this in the poem's construction and wording. It gave me chills.
That's one up to me then .. Cheers, I'm sending a virtual space blanket & hope you thaw out before the weekend .. N
Not much of that around here right now, but I do have vivid but decently distant memories of cold - both physical and emotional and neither are much fun....
Much appreciated Dave .. I can well imagine .. ⛄❄️⛄❄️☃️
Tremendous work. I felt the heartbreaking cold.
You need to wrap up more, a long winter is on its way for sure .. Cheers T .. Neville
This is the coldness that can't be warmed by any blanket, and furnace. Bone chilling and determined to stay around. Good work, and good luck.
That is exceedingly generous and most kind of you Dan, I'll take it .. many thanks my friend .. Neville
Very emotive words Neville with a seemingly fulfilling finale.
Andy
Thanks a warm bundle Andy .. Neville
A fascinating piece, Neville. You really paint the picture, convey the emotion, and the last line just nailed it, mate. A fine write.
Thank you Tom
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