Now Out in The Open

Neville

Now Out in The Open

 

It is so very cold here,

out in the open like this ..

Even beside you,

I still shiver and freeze ..

As eventually, I began

to realise

there was no longer

any warmth

left at all in your tone,

your touch,

or the way that you feel ..

Indeed, your truest

of colours have

either been leaked,

had run away, or are now

very long flown ..

However, it seems they

are no longer hiding

right out, in the open ..

Yet still, it is

cold here, right down to

the bone and beyond

and such a very long way

from the home

we once used to reside

and make love in ..

When out of the blue

I recalled

from the platform how

much I always enjoyed

the smell

of coal burning

and the warm breath

of steam rising,

as it unashamedly kissed

me the very

same insane moment,

I eventually, dared to let go ..

 

 

 

  • Author: Neville (Offline Offline)
  • Published: September 18th, 2024 01:44
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 19
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Comments +

Comments8

  • orchidee

    Good write N.
    We're cold here emotionally at times - shivery - a time of grieving.
    Not hard-hearted, but some of us could not bear to stay long with a loved one when in hospital, not that he was in pain exactly, but suffering.

    • Neville



      I quite understand

    • Cassie58

      In a poem that got colder by degrees as I read through, there was a surprising upturn in the final lines. A poem of contrasts between then and now. The warmth is so much kinder on the soul. The cold is callous. I have always hated winter. You convey emotion so very well here Neville. Have a beautiful day my friend.

      • Neville



        You know exactly the write buttons to press C don't cha .. thanks chuck & you too

        • Cassie58

          Oh gawd am I in trubble?

        • sorenbarrett

          Hiding out in the open. Yes indeed I took this for more than just a relationship gone bad but something more hiding out in the open. The litteral story is one of coldness and I felt this in the poem's construction and wording. It gave me chills.

          • Neville



            That's one up to me then .. Cheers, I'm sending a virtual space blanket & hope you thaw out before the weekend .. N

          • Doggerel Dave

            Not much of that around here right now, but I do have vivid but decently distant memories of cold - both physical and emotional and neither are much fun....

            • Neville



              Much appreciated Dave .. I can well imagine .. ⛄❄️⛄❄️☃️

            • Thomas W Case

              Tremendous work. I felt the heartbreaking cold.

              • Neville



                You need to wrap up more, a long winter is on its way for sure .. Cheers T .. Neville

              • Dan Williams

                This is the coldness that can't be warmed by any blanket, and furnace. Bone chilling and determined to stay around. Good work, and good luck.

                • Neville


                  That is exceedingly generous and most kind of you Dan, I'll take it .. many thanks my friend .. Neville

                • Goldfinch60

                  Very emotive words Neville with a seemingly fulfilling finale.

                  Andy

                  • Neville



                    Thanks a warm bundle Andy .. Neville

                  • Tom Dylan

                    A fascinating piece, Neville. You really paint the picture, convey the emotion, and the last line just nailed it, mate. A fine write.

                    • Neville



                      Thank you Tom



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