Mazzy Star

“you’re running out of time”

is what he said to me

as he laid in my bed

and Mazzy Star sung

from the CD player

on my bookshelf

“Blue Light

there’s a blue light

in his eye”

and I know he’s right

every day that passes

I grow more poisoned

by this little town

despite the acres of farm

and herds of cows

crying in the night

I long for more

“there’s a world

outside my doorstep

there’s a ship

that sails by my window

there’s a world

under it

I think I see it

sailing

away”

I feel the waves

pulling me out the door

I could leave

pack a bag

buy that rusted Volkswagen

drive down the west coast

I’ll meet a guy

somewhere down in Oregon

and go across the country

working seasonal jobs

and wasting away my savings

on gas

I’ll bring my Mazzy Star CD

and play Blue Light

on highway US 101

“I think I hear them

waves crashing me by”

instead I sit alone

in the university library

blinded by the

Blue Light

of my laptop screen

working on my research proposal

till dawn

so I can graduate college

so I can go to work

so I can settle

so I can die

and the second I say

“I want something different”

I’m a fool