Staring out this window, I feel lost in the dismal day that is clouding my soul. No matter what I do, no matter how I act, no matter what I say, no matter how hard I try—it never seems enough. The ashen skies flurry down through my eyes and dampen the chill air within me. My soul begins to prattle through me like a death rattle, reminding me of all the times I’ve tried, fallen and failed. Will this time be any different?
The sky is charcoal
On this cold mid-autumn day,
Yet, the rain won’t fall.
“Keep a positive outlook,” they keep telling me. They. Who are they? Why do they keep talking to me, as if they can possibly know who I am, what I’ve been through, what I’ve had to overcome—the dark dungeon of my mind that holds me and will never let me go. I scream, but only silence echoes out. I speak, but my words never match what I am truly feeling. The mask I wear is hardwired to the speaker in my throat. I am an emotional cyborg. I look strong on the outside, thick as titanium—inside I am nothing more than decomposing flesh and putrid blood.
Leaves rustle in wind,
Which wisps and whirls with fury
Outside the window.
I keep staring out this window, these thoughts are ghosts that haunt my everlasting days and trouble my nights. Within me, the phantom winds roar and howl as everything within me clenches at the feeling of nails on chalkboards screeching through me. The goosebumps are perpetual. How will I ever amount to more when I am constantly stuck at less? I pray, and pray, and pray for an answer, for some relief. Heaven is silent while voices call to me from hell. Is this my purpose? To suffer in silence in an oblivious world, a world that cannot see me, but can only see the mask I am forced to wear? A world that, truthfully, could not care? My thoughts wander past the tree in my yard.
Squirrels race on by,
Scurrying with their li’l nuts
To bury them deep.
© 2024 Tristan Robert Lange. All rights reserved.
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Author:
Tristan Robert Lange (
Online) - Published: November 13th, 2024 08:41
- Comment from author about the poem: A Haibun journey through depression and isolation.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 19
- Users favorite of this poem: NinjaGirl
Online)
Comments7
'Death and life are in the power of the tongue:
Thank you for reading and for your comment. You're right about the power of words. However, this poem delves into the complex issues of isolation and depression, both of which can have severe consequences. Unlike the tongue, which can be used for both good and harm, depression rarely has a positive side. It's a serious condition that often requires professional help and support. I appreciate you taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Your engagement means a lot. 🙏
If it wasn't so serious, i would say 'Good write, putrid one'! (yuk. lol).
Why thank you! LOL! Much appreciated Orchi! I am thankful for your read, your thoughts, and your support! 🖤❤️🖤🙏
Or - well, put a light on then, if it's dark. Note to self: 'Say something serious, Orchi'! lol.
I've been known to put my big foot in it, with misunderstood daft comments. Oops!
You're not misunderstood here! You're appreciated, my friend! Thank you for your daft comments! 🙏🤣
It's me at times putting my big foot in it - some don't get my style of humour. Doh!
Depression rides a gray horse. This poem speaks darkly and in somber tones.
Indeed, it does! Thank you so much for reading and for commenting my friend. 🙏
Wow!! 😲
What a powerful and captivating
and emotional write on the
feelings and emotions depression
any person can be trapped in! 😢
Awesomazing imagery and
word choices, brilliantly composed!!💯
Best regards ✌️ peace Thad
Thank you so much! Glad the poem resonated. I really appreciate your time and feedback, Thad! 🙏
I stumbled after the resonating lines took an unexpected turn, leaving me at the crossroads looking after the speaker who disappeared in the murkier fog. Excellently rendered with a deeply haunting poignancy and great imagery. Thank you for sharing.
You're welcome! I truly glad the poem delivered Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts and experience reading it. Much appreciated! 🙏
This can not have been easy to write surely .. so many exceptional turns of phrase it would be nigh on impossible to single each one out and place them in any preferred or chronological order .. the black dog becomes a paler genus but we all see beneath the grim façade .. Neville
Thank you Neville! I really appreciate your time reading and sharing your thoughts. Your reflection is very true. Thanks again, my friend! 🙏
Superbly written. Dark and heavy. Relatable to many who have experienced the black hole of depression. Well done Tristan.
Thank you so much, Cassie! Your read and your feedback are very much valued! 🙏
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