The Hallways and the Rooms

There's a dark room in which I lay

It’s pitch black, and you can see almost nothing

But I know I’m sleeping in some sort of hallway

How? Because there’s doors with little square windows 

And beyond those doors there are people of all walks of life

I rise from my fetal position on the ground

And peek through the little windows

My eyes scan the room the best they can

The center of my eye sees humanity

All emotions

And all things

But in my peripheral vision I glance back at the darkness

To which I’ve always stayed

I like to knock on the doors and see if there is an answer

Sometimes I see them shut off all the lights and head to the corners of the room

Sometimes they open the door but their body is a boulder that I can’t get past

And so I have only now a rectangle of humanity to look at now instead of a square 

Sometimes they open the door and let me in and give me a goodie bag as if I was just a leaving guest at a party 

When they close the door after I can barely see what I got

But I’m thankful anyways

Sometimes they open the door and let me stay for a while

They ask me about the outside, they didn’t even know someone lived out there!

They give me compliments and always have a sense of hospitality 

But it’s clear that their love for me can be easily discarded

Sometimes rooms are filled with hate

Filled with people who like to make loud noises from inside to disturb my sleep

And when I walk in the dark I can hear their taunts

But I can’t make out the words

Or what they mean.

They’re not perfect

But these people all have a room

Even if it’s just a tiny room with one person

It’s still a room

It always will be

I have the darkness of the hallway in which I try to play but I am forever stunted

The squeaks of my shoes against the floor give me paranoia

And I always bump into doors and bulletin boards

So I almost always just lay there

But suddenly, I started to see the fluorescent lights turn on 

They beam and they shine

Until all of the hallway is lit up

I scramble and as I get up I look down to the floor

All the stickers, the scraps, the toys, and the knick knacks I had found around

or kept from a room’s goodie bags 

They all were there 

And it created a sculpture! A masterpiece!

But I looked around again

All the light in the rooms was gone.

So I rush to find my lovers, haters, and friends

I rush them out into the hallway where we all dance in excitement, we can all share this hallway together now!

No more awaiting approval 

No more cries

No more isolation

And then right before I go to embrace my friends,

I see the blinding flash

And it all comes down

I wake up on the ground

Even when I’ve waited for a spark

The fantasy had withered away

 I still see the dark