Patience

You called yesterday at 10:21 pm

I was hoping to never hear from you again

My hands went cold, and time froze

I knew.

I fucking knew.

yet I didn't cry this time 

I didn't shed a tear

but it shook me 

so fucking bad

I'm so disappointed and sad

kind of glad

the feelings had 

are short of nothing but the past

I have a peace you wish you had

I blocked your new number too

I can't redo that with you

everything is still too new

10:21 pm was so cruel 

yet I still went cold in time

I know I still love you it's true 

but it's so weird 

it's like I don't remember you

you were my first real love

something so blue

and I felt that blue again

I can't do that again

because I won't make it this time

I won't win

death will be my friend

everything will disappear

I'll pray and apologize for my sins

praying my friends have patience for the pathetic ways to my end.