The Eternal Pessimist

Nope, not a hymn-poem

But some worldly wisdom

On the theme of: 'If anything can go wrong, it will!'

Here's some examples - add on your own

***

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who is the fairest of them all?

Mirror replies: "Dunno, but you're the ugliest!

I just cracked, cos you looked at me

Seven years bad luck if you break a mirror'.

***

If one door closes, another one slams in your face

Or there may be a wall behind it

***

If at first you don't succeed - give up

No use keep bashing your head against a brick wall

***

To one who was wanting Summer to continue:

Don't worry, it'll be Winter again soon

***

To one who wanted a sunny day:

Cheer up, it'll probably rain again tomorrow

***

To one downcast:

Cheer up, it may never happen

The reply was: It has already happened, Doh!

***

On the day after the Longest Day in June (in UK):

Be happy! The nights are starting to draw in again now.

***

A ditty on money-grabbers

(e.g. some churches, but not necessarily only churches):

"Ohh, have you got plenty of cash, then to us come

We'll welcome you with open arms, make you feel at home

Give us your money, you'll soon broke be

But you'll know the joy of deep poverty"

(Dunno what you're complaining for!)

Ooh - heehee.

***

Only 10 months and a bit to Ch......

I can't say the word - 

Only in December!

***