How do you show, what you cant feel

In the theater of faces, where masks come alive,
I wear a smile painted bright, yet within, I just survive.
The laughter pours like raindrops,
A symphony of sound,
Yet deep inside this hollow shell, no happiness is found.
The tears are coming out like rain,
Pouring down from skies of gray,
They soak the earth with pain unseen,
While sunbeams dance and play.
The world expects a joyous song,
To rise with morning’s light—
But here I am, a jester lost,
In the dimness of the night.
How do you show what isn’t there?
How does the heart perform?
When every beat is out of sync,
And silence feels the norm?
I mimic every fleeting joy,
But it slips through fingertips,
A fragile dream of brighter days,
Now tethered to the rips.
I chase the mirage of delight,
With colors bright and bold,
A canvas draped in brilliant hues,
Yet my story remains untold.
The family gathers, smiles abound,
Yet I’m a ghost apart—
Feigning warmth and mirthful cheer,
While chill invades my heart.
How do you show the ache inside,
The longing like the sea?
When waves of sorrow crash within,
While you’re expected to be free?
The laughter echoes louder still,
A desperate, hollow sound,
In the crowd, I wear my mask,
Yet in solitude, I drown.
So note the dance of shadows cast,
The sunlight’s cruel embrace,
For every joy that fills the room,
There’s a tear I can’t erase.
And still, I stand, a monument,
To all the things I lack—
A fragile beauty, cracked and worn,
At odds with light and black.
How do you show what you can’t feel,
In this intricate ballet?
When every motion’s tinged with grief,
And joy seems far away?
I stand amidst the laughing throng,
And wear my cloak of art,
A semblance of what life should be,
While silence breaks my heart.

I curse the sunny hours for loss of thee whom I miss more than words can say
Look out to learn that none else is aware, so plaster nonchalance on like the garment I shall wear,
Feign nothing really bothers me as no one else seems knows, or when they charge me with a fault cuz lo,"you never cry," pretend I do not care because I cannot.
...

With the feelings long to share
You don't want to break the wall
"Just please stay with me bare"
Then you just walk these lonely halls
Because people sit around and ask you here and there
"Are you, ok?"
Yes you say
But your not
When people wont leave you the fuck alone
And all you finally wanna do is go home

When I get hit I don’t feel
A broken heart I do not feel
hoping all the questions about my feelings stops getting asked of, but a hand places my head on their shoulders
I shed no tears from my eyes, but my soul cries
I bleed not from my skin but from my heart
Saying I do not feel would be a lie
I feel, but never do I show
Drowning in solitude
Embraced by the cold hands of loneliness
In this journey, I stand helpless

When people pressure and and pressure you and expect you to be ok
It hurts more and more each day
To know you not ok, but you cannot show
Because you dont want anyone else to know
How do you show, what you cant feel
I show happiness but am I?
I show joy, and that im alright
Am I?
or do I just want others to
leave
me
alone