I'm 19 years into this life

I'm 19 years into this life of mine

I've gotten this far

I'm so quiet it's like I'm a mime

I'm trying to be a torch in the dark

I'm trying for everyone else

I just wish I could try for myself

I had a father but I won't get into that

I hate my body and the way I act

I'm not that bad, right?

I don't get into fights

I speak up for my friends

I don't speak up for myself

I'd rather suffer till the end

I'll do that before asking for help

I think I shouldn't

I know I would

I think I should 

I know I wouldn't

I'm 19 years into this life

I'm still pretending everything's fine