Ma an me

sorenbarrett

Da drizzle of a grey day, pressure dropped ta where da temperature stopped

Da cold's got a hold on an old back, wid each bend arthritic bones crack  

Fog's settlin' in, noticed some spots on ma skin, hope dem cancer ain't started again

Last time dey took em off was when Ma ad dat terrible cough,

She died last spring, can't find ma marriage ring

Think ah eard da phone ring

Don't worry a bit, Ma'll get it 

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Comments +

Comments11

  • David Wakeling

    This sounds like "The Real Housewives of the Appalachians" Just kidding.An enjoyable fun accent and poem

    • sorenbarrett

      Yes David it could well be. A line of my family came out of the hills of Tennessee and I guess I still have a thread of it in my DNA. Appreciate the read and comment my friend.

    • Mottakeenur Rehman

      This poem breaks meโ€”the cold, the cancer, the ghost of 'Ma' answering a phone that never rings. Grief lives in the spaces between your words. Stunning and sorrowful.

      • sorenbarrett

        Thank you so much Mottakeenur for your most kind and understanding review of this piece. You are right it is in the emptiness where pain resides and in what is not said that regret falls. Your words are deeply appreciated

        • Mottakeenur Rehman

          Thank You..๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™

        • Poetic Licence

          Although done in an entertaining style this is a sad and touching write, the ghost of ma still holds memories and pain, nicely expressed write

          • sorenbarrett

            Thank you Tobani yes life is a balance and there is humor in tragedy and tragedy in humor. Unfortunately we live in a polarized world where fear of offending has led to the politically correct and the over protect view. In this we loose the humor in sadness and the ability to smile even in pain.

            • Poetic Licence

              You are very welcome

            • arqios

              One of our fave road trip songs was Rocky Top TN; we spent some time at Gatlinburg one winter and hiked that portion of the Appalachian trail towards NC. ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

              • sorenbarrett

                Thanks Cryptic for your review and memories distort and fade sometimes buried but seldom die.

                • arqios

                  So true Soren, you are welcome ๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

                • Teddy.15

                  Goosebumps, she certainly did lose the ring so did you! Extraordinary this one, I could literally see you running for the phone hoping it would be her, language a super kudos very very original. ๐ŸŒน

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thank you so much my dear friend thought I would try something different this time. Appreciate your continued support and encouragement as always.

                  • Damaso

                    Wow what pain! incredible!

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you Damaso for your read and most understanding words. Pain becomes normal when it is routine and is not understood

                      • Damaso

                        You're welcome, my friend. A hug.

                      • orchidee

                        Good write SB. Pain also resides here, in me life with KP. Apain in the neck, that is! lol.

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Got ya Orchi thanks for the read and comment yea mine is a pain in the back and I think it is bad posture.

                        • Salvia.S

                          A powerful and moving piece - raw , atmospheric and full of quiet sorrow.

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thanks so much Salvia for the read and most kind words of support they are deeply valued

                          • Goldfinch60

                            Emotive words expressed so well soren.

                            Andy

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thanks so much Andy I deeply appreciate your reads and most encouraging words of support

                            • NafisaSB

                              sometimes some memories just tug at your heart strings - as this one does - and also reminds me of my late mom
                              thanks for sharing this sad but tender poem

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Thank you so much Nafisa for your read and most kind words of encouragement they are most deeply appreciated

                                • NafisaSB

                                  thank you for sharing these gems..Good going

                                • Tom Dylan

                                  Such a unique and powerful poem. A fine write.

                                  • sorenbarrett

                                    Thank you Tom for the review and kind and supportive comment it is always appreciated



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