lonely

i thought loneliness

would disappear

when i found someone to love

but truthfully 

it still gnaws at me

sinks its claws into me

snaps its jaws at me

it has not left 

for me

loneliness always feels

like a stab

straight through the chest 

whenever i get the feeling 

of being liked second best

…or worst 

and it hurts

whenever i’m left to exist

without the company

i constantly miss

it astounds me

because i’m incredibly introverted

but anything slightly mis-worded

anything that could subtly suggest

you don’t like me best

and i’m a mess

sometimes

it leans into jealousy

and i don’t like that trait in me

so i try to reel it in

but for me

suppressing emotion is a noose

i’ve been trying for years

to get loose

i can’t hate myself

for my fear

because i know

it comes from a need of love

everything

seems to come

from how i want to be loved. 

20:37pm - 10/06/25.