Dads Jokes For Father's Day

Poetic Licence


Notice of absence from Poetic Licence
They Think It Is All Over.
Sad to say it is now.
Take Care.

Dad’s Jokes for Father’s Day.

 

I told my son he should not

Listen to losers.

 

Now he won’t listen to me.

 

Dentist: Your teeth are stained.

Do you smoke or drink coffee.

 

Me: I drink it.

 

My Uncle was crushed by a Piano.

His Funeral was very low key.

 

My Girlfriend says I’m way too

Condescending.

 

(That means I speak down to people).

 

I can’t believe someone broke into my

House and stole all of my fruit.

 

I am peachless.

 

There’s this new cryptocurrency

Called Decibel.

 

It’s a sound investment.

 

I have a friend who really hates living

In the centre of the USA.

 

She says she’s in a constant state of

Missouri.

 

Did you hear about the giant

With Diarrhoea?

 

It’s all over town.

 

My co-worker Celsius needed to take

Some time off, so they hired a guy called

Kelvin to cover for him.

 

He is the new temp.

 

What dating app do lumberjacks use?

 

Timber.

 

I have a fear of overly intricate

Buildings…

 

I suppose you could say I have

A complex complex complex.

 

What do the French call it when

Something sad happens on Thursday.

 

Un tra-jeudi.

 

I watched a documentary on how

Ships are kept together.

 

Riveting.

 

I said to the customer “So, You’d

Like a cheeseburger?

 

“Yes,” he said. “Well done”

“Thank you”, I said.

 

I just flew back from a

Transformers convention.

 

And boy, my arms are tyres.

 

Happy Father’s Day

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Comments +

Comments12

  • David Wakeling

    These were wonderful. Made me laugh.

  • sorenbarrett

    Thank you for the fun, some made me smile, some made me laugh and some brightened the day.

  • Jerry Reynolds

    Perls of joy for a rainy morning, PL. Still laughing. Happy Father's Day to you as well

    • Poetic Licence

      Thank you for your kind feedback, have a lovely weekend

    • arqios

      Excellent dad jokes for Father’s Day 🙏🏻🕊

    • Tristan Robert Lange

      Oh, please don't ever stop! I am rolling over here! Dad jokes rock! And these were the cream of the crop! Wonderful job, my friend! 🌹👏

    • orchidee

      Good write PL. LOL. Does anyone laugh at MY jokes? If not, I best laugh at them myself, or else no-one may laugh at them! lol.
      Fido says 'Not that old Bill Stickers/Bill Posters joke again Orchi - 'Haven't they found him yet? He's gonna be prosecuted. Why, what's he done?!'

      • Poetic Licence

        If they us laugh they will make someone else laugh, enjoy the rest of your weekend

      • Mottakeenur Rehman

        These jokes are pure gold, Dad—you've outdone yourself again!
        Wishing you a Father's Day filled with laughter and endless puns!"

        • Poetic Licence

          Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated

        • Tony Grannell

          Hello Tobani,

          These are hilarious; you should do standup; you would have the audience in stitches. Plenty of ammunition here to try out on my son tomorrow - can't wait!

          I trust you are keeping well,

          Tony.

        • Thomas W Case

          Great stuff.

        • Doggerel Dave

          I'm not a dad, but I've managed to laugh - they are quality corn.

        • soullless

          Amazing! Haha

        • NafisaSB

          started a gloomy rainy day with a smile and a chuckle after reading the above - thanks for sharing

          • Poetic Licence

            You are very welcome, thank you for your feedback, very much appreciated

            • NafisaSB

              have a beautiful day

              • Poetic Licence

                You too, sun is shining all good

                • NafisaSB

                  great - here too...



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