Dads Jokes For Father's Day

Poetic Licence


Notice of absence from Poetic Licence
Peace should be for everyone, not just the chosen few.

Dad’s Jokes for Father’s Day.

 

I told my son he should not

Listen to losers.

 

Now he won’t listen to me.

 

Dentist: Your teeth are stained.

Do you smoke or drink coffee.

 

Me: I drink it.

 

My Uncle was crushed by a Piano.

His Funeral was very low key.

 

My Girlfriend says I’m way too

Condescending.

 

(That means I speak down to people).

 

I can’t believe someone broke into my

House and stole all of my fruit.

 

I am peachless.

 

There’s this new cryptocurrency

Called Decibel.

 

It’s a sound investment.

 

I have a friend who really hates living

In the centre of the USA.

 

She says she’s in a constant state of

Missouri.

 

Did you hear about the giant

With Diarrhoea?

 

It’s all over town.

 

My co-worker Celsius needed to take

Some time off, so they hired a guy called

Kelvin to cover for him.

 

He is the new temp.

 

What dating app do lumberjacks use?

 

Timber.

 

I have a fear of overly intricate

Buildings…

 

I suppose you could say I have

A complex complex complex.

 

What do the French call it when

Something sad happens on Thursday.

 

Un tra-jeudi.

 

I watched a documentary on how

Ships are kept together.

 

Riveting.

 

I said to the customer “So, You’d

Like a cheeseburger?

 

“Yes,” he said. “Well done”

“Thank you”, I said.

 

I just flew back from a

Transformers convention.

 

And boy, my arms are tyres.

 

Happy Father’s Day

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Comments +

Comments12

  • David Wakeling

    These were wonderful. Made me laugh.

  • sorenbarrett

    Thank you for the fun, some made me smile, some made me laugh and some brightened the day.

  • Jerry Reynolds

    Perls of joy for a rainy morning, PL. Still laughing. Happy Father's Day to you as well

    • Poetic Licence

      Thank you for your kind feedback, have a lovely weekend

    • arqios

      Excellent dad jokes for Father’s Day 🙏🏻🕊

    • Tristan Robert Lange

      Oh, please don't ever stop! I am rolling over here! Dad jokes rock! And these were the cream of the crop! Wonderful job, my friend! 🌹👏

    • orchidee

      Good write PL. LOL. Does anyone laugh at MY jokes? If not, I best laugh at them myself, or else no-one may laugh at them! lol.
      Fido says 'Not that old Bill Stickers/Bill Posters joke again Orchi - 'Haven't they found him yet? He's gonna be prosecuted. Why, what's he done?!'

      • Poetic Licence

        If they us laugh they will make someone else laugh, enjoy the rest of your weekend

      • Mottakeenur Rehman

        These jokes are pure gold, Dad—you've outdone yourself again!
        Wishing you a Father's Day filled with laughter and endless puns!"

        • Poetic Licence

          Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated

        • Tony Grannell

          Hello Tobani,

          These are hilarious; you should do standup; you would have the audience in stitches. Plenty of ammunition here to try out on my son tomorrow - can't wait!

          I trust you are keeping well,

          Tony.

        • Thomas W Case

          Great stuff.

        • Doggerel Dave

          I'm not a dad, but I've managed to laugh - they are quality corn.

        • soullless

          Amazing! Haha

        • NafisaSB

          started a gloomy rainy day with a smile and a chuckle after reading the above - thanks for sharing

          • Poetic Licence

            You are very welcome, thank you for your feedback, very much appreciated

            • NafisaSB

              have a beautiful day

              • Poetic Licence

                You too, sun is shining all good

                • NafisaSB

                  great - here too...



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