Never

I want to peel my skin away

not just the outer 

but the parts that ache beneath. 

Strip it down 

like autumn bark 

until I'm nothing but 

a trembling leaf. 

Let me carve the shape they crave 

reshape the bones

rethread the seams 

swap the voice

the smile 

the name 

make myself a walking dream.

I'd bleach my shadow if I could 

burn the memories they wont hold 

break myself to softer wood 

and chisel out 

a heart of gold.

But here's the curse

in every layer:

beneath my revolting skin 

is still the same. 

The blood still hums

the old despair 

my soul still answers 

to the shame. 

So I stand raw, rebuilt, remade

and hold my breathe

but Love doesn't stand.

They turn away

they always do 

like I was reaching out 

with no hand. 

I tried to be 

what love would want 

tried to bleed into the mold.

But I'm still me

a silent haunt 

a story 

never told.

And in the mirror 

cracked and grim 

I face the truth 

I always knew:

No matter what I do to her

They'll never love 

what's underneath me too.