Deceptions

sorenbarrett

Steam and smoke look the same, one from water the other from flame
Smoke leaves a stain, when dried without a mark from  clouds falls life's rain
Salt and sugar an indistinguishable white grain one from sea one from cane 
Of one a seasoning we obtain the other a sweetener so plain

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Comments +

Comments9

  • Teddy.15

    Brilliant rhyme imagery and so very powerful. 🌹

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you Teddy for your read and more than generous words of encouragement and support. Thank you my friend

    • Poetic Licence

      Enjoyed the read

    • David Wakeling

      For me this is how in Nature things deceive us but more than that it is about people and their deceptions. In this world we have to negotiate the many deceptions that people are capable of. An interesting poem.made me think

      • sorenbarrett

        Thank you David for your insightful interpretation. This poem had another stanza that revealed this deception with people but in reflection I decided to omit it feeling that it carried more weight in its absence. Let the wise find what is hidden then carries more value. .

      • Soman Ragavan

        An interesting observation of everyday stuff around us. Both steam and smoke can obscure our view for some time. Steam follows a clearer cycle : turning into clouds that fall as rain, to be again turned into steam. "life's rain" : indeed, rain sustains life. Water that got evaporated at one place turns into clouds that travel to other places to fall as rain. One interesting thing about salt is that, when boiled in water, the steam can be made to condense and salt is obtained again.... As for sugar, fertilisers and salts are thrown in sugar cane fields, but SUGAR is produced.... Another marvel of nature right under our eyes....

        • sorenbarrett

          Thank you Soman most interesting observations and conclusions. I appreciate your read and comments

        • Jerry Reynolds

          Good write, SB. Life is sweet and sour.

          • sorenbarrett

            Thank you Jerry for your read and comment it is most appreciated

          • Tristan Robert Lange

            This speaks of nature but really reveals the nature of humanity. A brilliant poem, whether taken literally or in a metaphorical sense. Powerfully true! 🌹👏

            • sorenbarrett

              So glad you picked up on that my friend. I decided to leave off the last stanza that emphasized the metaphoric. Thank you so much for the read and comment Tristan

              • Tristan Robert Lange

                You are most welcome. It is a wonderful poem, Soren!

              • Damaso

                I really liked it. I reached a point where it seemed to get tangled up, and when I reached the end, I found my way out again. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. Cheers.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thanks Damaso yes iit might have been plainer if i had added the other stanza I had written but I decided to leave it a bit more open for interpretation. I appreciate your read and comments

                  • Damaso

                    Now I understand, it still sparks everywhere just like that. You're welcome!

                  • Tony36

                    BRAVO

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you Tony

                      • Tony36

                        You're welcome

                      • Goldfinch60

                        Such true words soren.

                        Andy

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you Andy I appreciate your read and kind words



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