Who Do You Want Me To Be?

Now I belong to none.

Not to myself, not to man

One sees me as a purse,

While the other sees me weak.

They carry me on their shoulder

Following around, sheep to a leader.

Tell me that I’m one of them

Since I’m different than the rest.

Tell me I should be more flamboyant

And more confident and womanly.

The others don’t see me as one of them.

I’m pretending to get more score.

They say I should be more like them,

And how I don’t have to be different.

They say I should be more juvenile

And more sporty and manly.

All the ‘deep talks’, all the hazing,

All the exclusion, and it hurts me.

I can’t relate like women, or like men.

Too inexperienced to one, too sensitive to rest.

I can’t fit myself into the puzzle of society

I change one thing, one side will complain.

All the ‘boys will be boys’, all the scrutiny

All the gender split, and it kills me

Can’t talk to most, they see it as flirty.

I’m too seperated, I’m too isolated,

All the sterotyping and it confuses me.

Secluded from both, i’m on my own

I can’t belong to any,

I can’t be a woman, or viewed as a man.

One promised it’s not a curse,

With others, I can’t even speak.