The Side of Dark

"I've held on for as long as I can....

For the ones I have to defend....

I've been strong everyday of my life....

......

I used to have strength but I've ran out of hope...

This world is a wasteland where nothing can grow..."

What sweet melancholy words that speak to my soul

I was reaching out of the trenches of the darkness that seems to follow me

Now it seems I am falling down that hole again

I can feel the sickness gripping me

Ripping apart my insides

Reminding me where I was

Where I can be again

Trying to rip me open like it did for so many nights

I feel my head on the guillotine again

I am on the line

Which way shall I fall

Every step forward

Is three steps backwards

Away from the healing I've been making

I don't know who I am anymore

Am I someone worthy of staying?

Or should I go?

I get so lost in my mind

I get so lost in that darkness 

In that place we all run from

The voices

The hands

Clawing

Scratching

Screeching

Whispering

Telling me the things

I fear

Might be true

And that no one has the guts 

To be truthful to me

Am i a mistake?

A parasite?

A lie?

Do I only destroy?

At times I do not know

The abyss and I stare into each other

Even the abyss flinches 

From the pain my soul harbors

This pain

I do not know

How I got it

Or from whence it came

I want it gone

It's a black spot on my soul

I worry if I cannot get rid of it

It will get rid of me

Oh why

I was progressing I was doing better 

Yet here I am again

Take my soul 

Take my heart

Take who I am

Who I truly am

I fear I cannot 

Protect

Nor

Sustain

It

I want it safe 

For I know my flame is beautiful

But sometimes it is dying

Please oh please

Help me keep it alive

I don't want to go

I'm scared

I want to go home 

Please oh please

Take me home