Mud on the floor

sorenbarrett

Weight of age rests on shoulders of a rusted cage when removed does display
Dirt in a painted shirt, a sequined gown a skirt hung on a hook of clay
A woman in dust held together by must, her and the man the same
Remnants, once a man that years outran return to from where they came
A human crust, just dust of disgust, the cost of time to pay
Broken frame of shame, a forgotten name just to sweep away 

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Comments +

Comments12

  • Teddy.15

    Dust being the word of this day, so very dignified my dear sorrenbarrett, a poem of great significance. Kudos on your poetic talents. 🌹

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you my friend for your continued support and encouragement. Your read of this piece is most appreciated as always

    • Priya Tomar

      Outstanding verses !

      • sorenbarrett

        I thank you humbly for your review and most kind words of encouragement

        • Priya Tomar

          You are most welcome !

        • orchidee

          Godo write SB. My own version of line 3 is 'A woman in dust held together by botox'. Heehee. Guess who I mean. It's terrible of me - I give her even more publicity, mentioning her. lol.

          • sorenbarrett

            Thanks Orchi I appreciate the read and comment now she may get you for libel

            • orchidee

              Argh! lol.

            • RSM0812

              Great rhyme scheme. It reminds me of aging. Maybe without grace.

              • sorenbarrett

                Aging is never graceful that is a ruse. Thank you so much for the read and kind words of comment

              • Lorenz

                For mud thou art and unto dust shalt thou return !

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thanks Lorenz for your read and words it is appreciated

                • GenXer Shamrocker ☘️

                  Well done my friend!!!🙏

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thank you very much for the read and comment Shamrocker your words are highly valued

                  • NinjaGirl

                    Fantastic work as usual!

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you so much NinjaGirl for the review your words are always encouraging and highly valued

                      • NinjaGirl

                        Of course!

                      • Fína Elara 🌙 Petra Patrice

                        Nice Rhythm

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you so much it is appreciated

                        • Tristan Robert Lange

                          My friend, powerful work…the cage, the dust, the broken frame, all swept away by time’s hand. It’s stark, unforgiving, and beautifully penned. Faved for sure! 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thank you Tristan for the review are we not all but rusting cages, shirts filled with dirt waiting to be swept away? I appreciate you kind words my friend

                          • Goldfinch60

                            Fine words soren.

                            Andy

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thank you so much Andy it is most appreciated

                            • NafisaSB

                              IT NEED NOT ALWAYS BE THAT WAY - IT SHOULD BE MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL TO THINK BACK ON...

                              • sorenbarrett

                                True it is that there is beauty in life and its memories but in life's duality of balance there is the dark side. The physical deteriorates in its entropy there is pain and peace the growth of the inner self splits the dry outer shell of the chrysalis to emerge in a metamorphosis. The remaining dust of the body to be swept away

                                • NafisaSB

                                  your explanation makes perfect sense.
                                  thanks for the response, have a beautiful and productive weekend.
                                  take care

                                • rebellion_in_sanity

                                  Definitely one of best poems I have come across (not that I am much into poetry or have deep understanding).
                                  To me, this is a towering poem- something raw in that neatly packaged poetic words. Something heartbreakingly human in those elevated expressions. Thank you for sharing 🙏

                                  • sorenbarrett

                                    You are too kind my friend your words humble me. Thank you so much your encouragement and support are most valued



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