Please leave your message after the tone, though I’ll probably never get back to you.
Paul-Phil here, can you drive a car with three wheels.
Paul-Sheryl, I’m leaving you for a Canadian lumberjack, don’t try and talk me out of it.
Paul-Micky here, that bird Tasman you hooked me up with, she wants to try the Buddha position, what the hell is it.
Paul-Phil, I’ve been arrested,fecking fifty quid in the licence, you dickhead.
Paul-Sheryl, you would just let me go off with a Lumberjack, you bastard.
Mr Bell, do you know you’re entitled to five thousand pounds for that accident you had three years ago. Phone us.
Paul-Linda here, I’ve left Tony, can I crash at yours for a few days.
Paul,-Nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric hospital, just an update from the doctor, he’s still in two minds.
Paul,- Phil here, can you come and bail me out.
Paul--Sheryl, I’ve dumped the Lumberjack, going out with Hans now, my soul mate.
Paul-Tracy down at the STD clinic, your tests are clear, and no, I don’t want to celebrate with you.
Paul-Micky, that Tamsin's a guy, what the hell is wrong with you.
Paul-Phil, are you coming or what.
Paul-Linda, We’re going to give it another go.
Paul, -Sheryl here, I’m giving you one more chance, I could have my pick of guys, why the hell I picked you god only knows, I’m coming round now.
Paul-This is the sunshine holiday retreat company, your immediate sabbatical is now ready when you are.
Paul, nurse Jackie here at the Psychiatric hospital, is the doctor at yours.
-
Author:
Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: September 29th, 2025 06:04
- Category: Humor
- Views: 11
- Users favorite of this poem: sorenbarrett, Tristan Robert Lange, DeadRose
Offline)
Comments3
So unique yet so familiar it strikes both chords at once. The social demands that now we have no privacy from. A lovely write and a fave
Yes, privacy left a long time ago.
Not all the messages on my phone are like that.........
Now back in the day carrier pigeons took some of the urgency and immediacy from the more compromising ones....
There's no escape now.
Too right.....
Paul, this is hilarious…the chaos of messages stacks up until it’s absurd and brilliant. 🌹🖤🙏
He never came back from that sunshine retreat. lol
LOL!
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