Disappointment's cold rain in drops of pain wet my way
They stain not cleanse washing vision from my eyes
Soft fog of dreams oh how I wished their visions would stay
All shadows of darkness' disguise, fill mind with flies of lies
Soft gloss like floss grows over trees in moss
Where darkness grows and a gentle breeze blows
Molten thoughts pour, refined, separated from dross
Casting walls of iron where the door to reality does close
Locked in an iron room with windows glued shut and no way out
No one can hear your screams, they come in a silent shout
Sealed inside on the back of night to ride in a sea of present and past
To drift away till the break of day, cradled in a womb of dreams cast
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Author:
sorenbarrett (
Offline) - Published: October 25th, 2025 03:15
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 76
- Users favorite of this poem: peto, Bustillos, Paul Bell, rebellion_in_sanity, Lorenz, Tristan Robert Lange, Soman Ragavan, Devender Kumar, PerditaRose
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Comments14
Your word choices in this are superb Soren
An iron room with windows glued shut
Is a great line with vivid imagery
Top notch
Thank you so much Peto for your most encouraging words they are very important to me. I appreciate your visits and kind words.
Your setting is metaphorical, revolving around the mind and emotional landscapes rather than a physical location. The poet seeks to articulate the universal experience of longing for the comfort of dreams while confronting the painful realities of life, resonating with anyone who has felt trapped by their circumstances. Your poem also explores the conflict between dreams and reality, highlighting feelings of disappointment and entrapment. It conveys a sense of longing for the comfort of dreams while grappling with the harsh realities of life. And yet your poem delves into themes of disillusionment, the fragility of dreams, and the psychological struggle of being trapped in one's own mind. It portrays the tension between the desire for escape through dreams and the inevitability of confronting painful truths.I must say, this dream is quite disturbing.
Thank you Friendship for the review and dream analysis not Freudian or Jungian it is more a Gestalt and quite accurate. It is deeply appreciated and valued my friend
Where we hide, the mist pass by.
Only time the days ask why.
Locked in an iron room with no way out.
Left only a dream and hopeless doubts.
Thank you Paul yes such words carry the same feeling. Your read and words of encouragement are most appreciated
The last stanza is an example of visceral writing. Perhaps 'liked' would be inaccurate. May be- 'educational' is closer to what I felt.
Thank you so much Rebellion for your kind words of encouragement they help inspire further writes.
It remains me of the ''Hotel California " Where you check in but never check out...
Ah but that may be so. Are we sure we are a person who dreamed of a butterfly or are we a butterfly dreaming we are a person?
Inspiring ...
My friend, I’ve walked that same inner weather…rain that doesn’t cleanse, only stains. You capture that emotional climate so vividly. Very well done. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Thank you my friend for your review and understanding of this piece it is most appreciated
You are most welcome!
Yep, or rather nope, no one can hear your screams KP. I've locked you in that room (verse 3, line 1) - well, until morning anyway! lol. My daft comments at times may give a contrast to deeper, more sensible comments! Any more ideas for KP's dinners? lol.
I had you in mind when I wrote that I thought you already had one for her so I thought I would mention it. Thanks Orchi for your read and just being there.
Yep, I'm there, just being there - hanging around like a bad....smell?! Fido says, Woof, now SB didn't say THAT!' lol.
Excellent write, Soren. Great read.
Thank you Jerry I appreciate you coming by and reading this piece.
My pleasure. I have missed coming here for some good poetry.
So good to see ya
The imagery here is hauntingly beautiful, I really felt the weight of that “iron room” and the ache of being sealed in with your own thoughts. Powerful writing!
Thank you Anna your words are most kind and I appreciate your support
"Friendship" has made an impressive analysis of your poetry. He/she surely has the gift of delving into psychology and can narrow down the mood the poet is in. An accurate dissection of the writing.
Thank you Soman for the read and understanding. Yes they do quite a good job. I appreciate your words of support
Soren, you weave the poem so beautifully, that I could visualize the scene....excellent imagery.
Loved these lines
Molten thoughts pour, refined, separated from dross
Casting walls of iron where the door to reality does close
Missed lots of you poems.. ..
Thanks so much for your read and most generous words of support they are deeply valued
Even in that locked room there will be light to show you the way out soren.
Andy
Thanks for the encouragement and support Andy it is deeply appreciated
Screams which are weak as a silent shout, that sounds like a nightmare. I can feel the depth in your words Soren..
Thank you so much for your read and kind words of support they are most appreciated
a dreamscape imagery where beauty and despair wrestle...rain sometimes just stains.
Thank you so much for your read of this poem and for comment. It is most appreciated and valued
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