safe

first

i am knocking at your door

smile already in place

ready for your face

my grandmother is waiting

in anticipation

ready to meet yours

when the door opens

it is with greetings

a polite and peaceful meeting

i promise to look after you

as i grab your hand

and pull you along

then

we are in the car

i can’t hear anyone now, i announce

as i pull the headphones down

over my ears

and you bury your face in your game

i can’t help thinking

that even when we are not speaking

the comfort is the same

at the hotel

i claim my side of the bed

and you climb into it anyway

i unpack all of my things

and you leave yours in the bags they came in

i cannot wait to see you

dressed up

my love

this is going to be fun

i pull on my jacket

check my shoes

brush my hair

you press “inflate”

on your costume

and i giggle as it blossoms

into beauty

enjoy the party, says a stranger

seeing us both

and i laugh

then we arrive

all i can see is

flashing lights

my family shakes your hand

hugs you tight

welcomes you to the family

you have already been

part of my family

for months

and at first

we sit quietly

observe

play scrabble at the table

and just as i decided

to celebrate my victory

i am pulled up by the arms

and dragged onto the dance floor

i’m sure you knew then

the time would come

i would grab your hand

and make you dance with me

and when we do

i am laughing

the world is spinning

i am winning

there is no space for any other feeling

there is only love here

and joy

there is only goodness here

i cannot feel less

before we leave

i wrap my arms

around your neck

and look up at your face

it is a particularly

beautiful face

one that i can’t replace

or recreate

finally

we are back at the hotel

i close the door

and the room becomes a

bubble of safety

a haven of happiness

we sit cross-legged

eating fast food

and discussing the day

i must admit

i had been so looking forward

to your embrace

i nestled beneath the covers

on your chest

and finally let myself rest

you are

how i rest

you are

the one who knows me best

you are

keeping me going

owen

thank you

for keeping me going.

12:56pm - 03/11/25